215

 215

My heart is breaking.

I know the pain of grieving the death of a child. I live with it daily.  It never leaves.  It never will. 

I can’t begin to imagine the agony of having my child taken away from me to go to a boarding school far away.  I can’t imagine that child not coming back...ever.  I can’t imagine the frustration and trauma of not being told what happened to them, if they are alive or dead. I can’t imagine waking up every day to that same reality with no conclusion.  

I can’t imagine that I would survive that - emotionally, spiritually.  I believe it would destroy me.  

I know the only way I got through my experience was with the support of my family, my friends and my community. I can’t imagine how I would have survived without that support.  

A big question that has repeatedly popped up throughout the global pandemic of this past year is how we can continue to support each other when we ourselves are drained.  Taking solace in the thought that ‘we are all in the same boat’ has helped me very little.  Who do we lean on, take comfort or strength from when everyone is suffering?

How does an entire community who has lost 215 children in its known recent history support itself? How do you do that when the country you live in does not listen when you yell about your lost children?  

The loss of these children is not news to this community.  They have known it for a very long time.  They have suffered it for a very long time.  The factual evidence has simply made other people finally listen.  It is a sad statement that this community had to conduct their own investigation to discover the bodies, to prove to the outside world what they already knew in their hearts. 

I believe that they are not the exception, but rather the rule.  Most residential schools in Canada had their own dedicated graveyard. That statement alone sent chills down my spine...a school with its own graveyard.    I am certain that there are many more children who did not return home and have never been accounted for.  

I am grateful for the courage and determination of this community to seek the truth and to share their pain loud enough to make us listen. 

 

You are all in my heart and I grieve with you.